Hope is bigger than fear

10 years ago today, Pete and I dropped off our 10 1/2 month old son and almost 5 year old daughter at daycare.  Plans were already in place for them to go home with our friend/director of the daycare for the night so no one in the family would have to worry about them.  (This was truly a blessing and I am forever grateful to Cathe for having the insight to do this for us).  After finishing that week, Hannah did not go back to daycare and Davis didn't return until August.

Pete and I drove to St. Joseph's hospital for a surgery that I believe was supposed to be at 1 in the afternoon.  I was having a lymph node removed with a "possible thyroidectomy" for a growth that the doctor assured me was not cancer. 

As I was being wheeled into the OR, the doctor joked and showed me the cd he was going to play even though he usually reserves it for nose surgeries...it was labeled "Booger Tunes".

I was put under and woke up SEVEN hours later (actually I was likely out longer, the surgery it self was 7 hours).  My funny doctor was at my side with the most somber look when I woke up.  I asked him three questions:

Did you take my thyroid?....His answer was yes.

Cancer?....His answer was yes

Thyroid cancer?...His answer was yes.

I smiled and said "ok". 

Ok because I knew I could beat that kind of cancer.

Ok because I knew there were replacement hormones for the diseased thyroid they had to remove.

Ok because I knew that I would be OK!!

Love is bigger than cancer and Hope is bigger than fear!!

I am eternally grateful for the family and friends that have made the last 10 years possible!!  I love you!

And to you cancer...you can still kiss my ass!!!!!!!!!

I am...

Coming back

This weekend I am going to make time to blog again....because we have been busy and I have a lot to say.

I will give you a pictorial preview of some of the crazy happenings in the Yost house:

Beautiful

I have been silent on my blog primarily because I have not been in the best place mentally.

I am trying to put my house in order.

I am trying my best to lose the funk and get back to seeing the sunshine. 

This song was on The Voice (which I LOVE) last night and it spoke to me.

"I am BEAUTIFUL no matter what they say"

1.11.11

Eleven years ago today we received some news that started our lives into a tailspin.

Today, we received news that will hopefully stop the spinning and have us moving in a straight line.

I got a J*O*B.

On the 17th, I will start working as a Controller for a small real estate company.  The opportunity really culminates all of my experience into one job.  It has taken awhile to get everything final...I interviewed on December 2nd at a lunch interview where my new bosses actually came out to where I was contracting so I didn't have to drive far and they treated me to a wonderful lunch.  The holidays slowed things down and the snow didn't help with the offer letter that I finally received today.

I have been unemployed for 2 years and 2 months (but lucky to have a few contract jobs that paid the bills).

We have a long road ahead of us to get back to some sense of financial security, but at least we are starting down that road.

Thank you isn't enough to thank all of those that have helped in so many ways during a time that was hard....it sucked a whole lot less because of all of you!!!  I don't want to ever forget what I have learned and I am looking forward to this new chapter!!

Health and Happiness

I got a fortune cookie today that said:

HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

ARE COMING YOUR WAY

Oh how I pray that is true.

There have been some positive things happening in my life in the last couple of weeks - things I will share when I can.  

Please pray that I am entering my springtime....this winter has been long and hard.

I have a teenager in my eye....

My silicone buckle in my left eye turned 13 today....

I wish I never needed it.....

but I am grateful that I had it when I needed it to fix my detached retina!!

Purpose

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;

your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.

Do not forsake the work of your hands."

Psalm 138:8

Saw this today and thought it fit where I am right now.

Trusting that God will fulfill HIS purpose for me.

I am also accepting that He won't be giving me a teleprompter so I can see what is next for me.

Strange week so far with lots of ups and downs, but overall I feel I am on the plus side.

Trusting in His purpose and timing.

Motocross is dangerous

Not for my boys though...

Last night after Matt's first practice at Bremen I was coming down the hill where the arrow is (I stand at the top so I can help if he falls).

And I fell....face first into the dirt.

In front of EVERYONE!!!

I even had dirt in my teeth.

I jumped up as quickly as I could to lessen the embarrassment as much as possible.

Hannah quickly came to my rescue and helped clean the dirt off my face.

This morning I HURT so bad and I know I don't look much better.

Not sure the picture shows how bad it actually looks and I know you can't see how much it hurts.

Do you think people would laugh if they saw me out on the track wearing one of these......

Good advice

I get my horoscope every morning on my phone home page and this is what today's said....

Libra September 22-October 22

"You're asked to spring into action today, Libra, so don't resist it. Be aware of the fact that things may not be as they seem. There could be a strange facade over the situation that you should be aware of before you act. Your head may seem a bit clouded. Your fantasy world is especially active today, so you might feel the urge to run away and never come back. That might not be a bad idea. "

**I couldn't make this up if I tried**

**I wanted to add that this made me laugh, just because the thought crossed my mind. I am not heading anywhere, I have too much that I would miss**

Shattered

That is what happened to Davis' wake board high score in Wii Resort....

BY ME!!!!

Take that smarty pants!!!

I also had to inform him that I am now a PRO!!!!

Pete thinks it is wrong for me to take that much pleasure in beating an 8 year-old at a video game. Whatever, he is just jealous.

Can't wait for the kids to go to bed tonight so I can work on getting my pro status back in bowling!!!

Held

Thank you so much...I can feel all the hands and I have grabbed on.

I am okay and I am sure that things will work out. God promised, I just have to be patient.

I have some wonderful people around me.

Thank you!!!

All I Can Say

My heart is heavy now about things I can't talk about. This is a song that I have really liked for awhile and it sums up where I am at. I could use some prayers of peace and grace.

All I Can Say
By David Crowder

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet.

Please Be Patient...

God isn't finished with me yet

At least I hope He's not finished with me!!

I would be lying if I said "all is well".

I am teetering on the edge

But every time I feel like am going to fall,

I feel the hands of someone holding on to me.

Those hands have come in many forms.

A gift card from an anonymous friend

A phone call from someone who cares.

A short term contract job that provided the "best support group ever".

A job lead.

A prayer on my behalf.

My tough 5 year old saying he wants to take a heart necklace to school because it reminds him how much he loves me.

And so much more!!

Thank you for all the "hands"....I surely would have fallen without them!!

I saw a church sign today that said,

"Give Thanks for the Blessings Yet to Come"

Thank you God for not completing me yet...I am looking forward to what is in store for me.

Lordy, Lordy...Look who's 40

ME....

Today I have been on this earth for 40 years...

Can't say the last year has been the best, but the first 39 pretty much rocked!!

I am looking forward to hopefully at least 40 more!

Six Weeks

Today marks 6 weeks of exercising for Pete and I.

We have worked through a lot of pain and even some relationship challenges.

Last week we added The 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels. Holy Crap...I have NEVER been that sore in my entire life (including 3 c-sections). It is amazing how many times you must get up and down each day...especially when you want to die each time you do!!! However, the pain is now gone and we have continued to use the DVD every day. We are taking a day off today from the DVD, but we plan on walking today.

We have been disappointed in the actual weight loss we have achieved, but are pleased with some of the changes in our bodies. Our motto is "It Can't Hurt" (I don't mean pain).

Hopefully the next 6 weeks we will face the challenge of incorporating our exercising before or after WORK!!!

Hands

7 years ago right now I had to trust my surgeon's hands to remove the cancer that invaded my neck.

Today, I trusted my own hands to hook up our camper and pull it home all by myself for the first time ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am happy about both! Although I am sure Dr. Jackson was better skilled, but I got it done (hope nobody saw how many times I had to back up the truck or how I had to get on the ground to try to figure out the swing arm things).

Broken

We have our first Yost broken bone.

Hannah broke her arm (near her wrist) this morning at her last ever field day.

After the very first relay (which they took 1st)....

She fell down and used her hand to brace her fall.

I am WAY too tired to download the camera tonight, but I will work on getting the pictures downloaded.

She has a splint on it now and we are working on getting her into the orthopedist (our friend is the office manager at the place we were referred to). We need to make sure we do everything right so that everything is covered.

She is in a lot of pain...I feel so bad for her. She has a very busy time in her life coming up, as this is her last year in elementary school. Tomorrow is her luau. She graduates next week and has her "walk of honor" next Friday. She was also asked to play on "all-stars" for softball and I am not sure how this will effect it.

She is planning to pick her cast in a color that will coordinate with her graduation dress...ALL GIRL for sure!!

**************************************************

I have not been updating my blog much lately. To be completely honest, my spirit is a little broken right now. It just seems like every door is being closed without another opening up. I want to be the normal "half-full" kind of person, but it all seems a little empty right now.

Any prayers for my sanity would be greatly appreciated!!

A Good Start

I sure hope today is an indication of a great week.

Pete and I walked in the rain this morning and it felt GREAT!!! Pete said he was having a hard time keeping up with me (I had some pent up anger from this weekend). I was so proud of us because we didn't let the weather stop us from getting our exercise in!!

Pete will be taking his polygraph on Friday, which puts us one step closer to him becoming a Sheriff's Deputy.

The kids got approved for Medicaid and I was able to set up an appointment for them at the dentist tomorrow to get their 6 month cleanings (which we had to cancel in April for lack of insurance) and to get some of Hannah's teeth pulled. I will also be able to get Matt in for his 5 year well visit. I never thought this would be where we are, but I am so thankful for it. Now I can rest a little easier watching my boys being boys!!!

I have an interview next week for a position that I thought was completely off the table....a very pleasant surprise.

I have Pete's mom's mother's day gift done and should have my mom's done tomorrow or Wednesday.

Is it really only Monday????

A day late

We didn't exercise yesterday, but sure enough we got up at 7:30 on a SATURDAY to go get our walk/run today. Hannah spent the night at her friend's, so we had to have the boys come along.

The boys rode their bikes....gave us at least 5 heart attacks because they couldn't stay on the right side of the road.

I figure if we can overcome the obstacle of "what to do with the kids" we are really SERIOUS about this!!!

We are off to a double header softball game for Hannah and then we are off to the RACES!!! We haven't been racing in so long and we really miss our racing friends!!!

I guess I better jump in the shower before I have to hear Pete say that I am making everybody late (we all know I would never cause that...on purpose that is).

I hope you all have a great weekend....we are enjoying some beautiful weather here. We even had to turn on the A/C yesterday!!!!!

Every Journey Starts with the First Step

We have a bird nest on our porch with 5 (I think) little baby birds in it.

Two mornings ago, Pete and I happen to look out the front window and this is what we saw....

One of the baby birds standing on the edge of the nest.

Testing his wings.

He sat there for awhile with his mom and dad trying to encourage him to go ahead and try it.

We watched this little bird contemplate taking his first flight and we cheered for him too!!!

"Come on little guy...you can do it"

And then....

HE DID IT!!!

He flew to the ceiling fan on the other side of our porch.

Right after I snapped this picture through our dining room window, he took off and landed under my neighbor's porch with his mommy and daddy is hot pursuit!!!!

Oh how I wished I could have caught it on video, but it is something that I will never forget!!

Pete and I have decided to take that leap too and do something for our health.

Today was day one for our new exercise program.

We walked and ran throughout our neighborhood (which is filled with lots of hills) this morning for about 40 minutes. It felt great!!!!

Pete is also addressing his elevated blood pressure, which is a relief for me (and his Mom as well)!! He is monitoring it and has started to take Hawthorne Berries to try to bring it down. The exercise and change in diet should help as well!!

We are taking OUR first step to a healthier life!!