Friday, May 20, 2011

Lessons learned

On the eve of the 9th anniversary of my cancer diagnoses, I have been thinking a lot about the "whys"....or rather reflecting on the reason I don't have any "whys" regarding the challenges we are all faced with in life.

This week has been a tough one....a very special little boy that is a week older than Davis earned his wings on Wednesday after a very long battle with Neuroblastoma.  I first "met" Jack while supporting the son of my co-worker, Carter who passed away in September of 2004.  I instantly fell in love with this little boy with a bucket on his head and Moo-Moos in his hand.  I also fell in love with the writings of his Mommy, Jen.  Jack endured two stem cell transplants and lots of chemo and radiation.  Jack got better....his Mommy decided to shut down his Caringbridge site...she continued to update those that were interested via e-mail for awhile after.  Oh how I missed her writings and keeping up with Jack and his sister Kate, I was happy that Jack was living the dream, but still missed them.  In November of 2009, a new website was created because unfortunately this mean cancer didn't want to stay away.  He fought hard...and in my opinion he won. 

Through the tears, I didn't think "why"....I was just sad and I ached for his mommies and sister. 

I believe with every ounce of my heart that God doesn't create the bad stuff that happens in our earthly life, but yet He is able to use the heartache, sadness, and fear to teach a valuable lesson.  It always amazes me to see the strength of humankind when disaster hits.  Instead of getting weaker....we get stronger.

I find that the lessons we learn the best, those we will remember, are those that were the hardest.

So if I ask "why did God do this to me"....His answer is always "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU".

Fly high Jack....thank you for letting me part of your journey and for helping me remember that each day is gift....don't be lazy and let it pass without making the most of it.

Monday, May 16, 2011


In  the end....she was even more beautiful than I could have imagined!!!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Mama Bear

I always have so many things I want to write about and somehow my crazy life seems to get in the way!!

We have been busy this Spring with softball, work, a little motocross, work, holidays, work and more work.  I am not complaining as I feel so grateful to have a job again, but I have been so crazy busy trying to get everything in the order I like.  I was also lucky enough to get a little side job with the last company I contracted with....but it was over Easter weekend.  This HOA president thing has been getting in the way as seems like that might be calming down a bit now.

As the school year winds down, it seems like our calendars fill up with events for the kids...field day, award ceremonies, year-end parties, etc.  I am lucky to work at a place that is flexible and I will be able to attend most of the kid's events.

Tonight Hannah is going to her 8th grade formal.  I can't believe she is going to High School in the fall.  In true teenage fashion, this dance has come with its share of drama.  However, this drama made this Mama Bear's very unhappy.  Hannah had borrowed a dress from a friend of hers and all we needed to do was get some shoes.  On Monday on our way to church school (Hannah volunteers for Matt's class) she was very upset but didn't want to talk about it.  She finally opened up and said that the "friend" she is going to the dance with told her that the dress she was going to wear (that she borrowed) was UGLY.  I wanted to go and strangle this girl.  For the record, the dress is really pretty and I thought it was great that Hannah was willing to save us some money, especially after 2 years of being unemployed.

In true Hannah fashion....she was still willing to wear the dress.  I took her to the store last night to get her shoes....however, I decided to buy her a new dress as well. 

She would have looked beautiful in the borrowed dress, but I know she will FEEL beautiful in this one. 

We have had lots of conversations about what a true friend is and Pete and I are trying hard to build her confidence so she doesn't allow herself to be treated like that.  Please say a little prayer for my Bear that she has fun tonight and feels as beautiful as she is.  I will post pictures when I can!!