All I have

For 10 years I have kept this envelope.

Many tears have been shed for the life in this envelope.

I have said many times that this is "all I have of my Jake".

Pete once felt my wrath when he cleaned out the closet where I kept it and he put it in a bag in the basement. I am sure he would testify to my craziness when I found it.

It is now safely tucked in our safe.

Recently I discovered something....

This is not all I have of my Jake.

Jake is forever in my heart and in my memories. I don't need sonogram pictures or my letter to him or the cards from my family or the items from the perinatal loss group to remember my sweet baby.

Jake changed me...and I am going to let him.

I am going to be thankful for it.

Sweet Jake,

I held you for less than 150 days

But for 10 years you have lived in my heart.

Until I hold you again,

Know that Mommy loves you.

Living in the moment

The tide seems to be changing a little for our family.

I could worry that it won't last or that it isn't enough.

But I won't.

Instead I am enjoying my new contract job with my favorite person/boss in the world.

I am thankful that the family is falling into the new routine quite well, with the boys going to the After-School program for the first time in their lives. I am pretty sure Hunter isn't too pleased about the new schedule though!!

I keep reading the report from the doctor with a huge smile that says my thyroglobulin is negative, which means no cancer!!!

We are gearing up for a large heat press order that we hope to deliver by this Thursday for the church. It will be a test to see how we can keep up that side business with us both working full time. The profit couldn't come at a better time!!

I can't lie and say I am still not worried, but I learning to just take things a day at a time and continue to live with HOPE.

It's Snowing

And Hunter is just as excited as the kids!!!

I know this may seem strange to those that are used to getting snow, but here in Georgia we don't get much of it. This is most likely Hunter's first snow!!

I will be back soon with an update on the start of 2010...it is already WAY better than 2009!!!