All I have

For 10 years I have kept this envelope.

Many tears have been shed for the life in this envelope.

I have said many times that this is "all I have of my Jake".

Pete once felt my wrath when he cleaned out the closet where I kept it and he put it in a bag in the basement. I am sure he would testify to my craziness when I found it.

It is now safely tucked in our safe.

Recently I discovered something....

This is not all I have of my Jake.

Jake is forever in my heart and in my memories. I don't need sonogram pictures or my letter to him or the cards from my family or the items from the perinatal loss group to remember my sweet baby.

Jake changed me...and I am going to let him.

I am going to be thankful for it.

Sweet Jake,

I held you for less than 150 days

But for 10 years you have lived in my heart.

Until I hold you again,

Know that Mommy loves you.